Come on Now Wendy… Do Better!

I honestly have a love/hate relationship with Wendy and her views on things. I feel that she’s negative and overly critical on somethings and tries to cover up her bitterness and self loathing with the “I don’t care” comments but she’s made a living off of slanging dirt so let’s get into it. I am beyond sick of her talking about how ghetto Meghan Markle is “suppose” to be and how she’s conning her way into the royal family. Why make assumptions about that woman’s character based on where she’s from? That’s the most racially charged shit I’ve seen on television and it makes me look at Wendy with the side eye. What she’s implying when she makes those baseless comments is that everyone who lives or comes from an urban area lacks class and composer and that is NOT true!!! Talking about how Meghan’s “a black woman from Crenshaw”… please miss me with the bullshit! Yet all we hear about is her OTHER family who happens to be white that is constantly acting out wanting their 15 minutes of fame. Yet we hear absolutely NOTHING from her family from “Crenshaw”.

Then there is the constant implication that she’s somehow sleeping her way into the royal family but Mehgan had already established a viable acting career and by no means seems to be using Harry for anything. He didn’t pick her from destitution! She was earning a decent living and building her own celebrity status prior to meeting Harry yet all Wendy seems to concentrate on is how she somehow trapped him with her “snapping Gyro”. By the way as a woman she’s suppose to have a “snapping Gyro” and feel hell of good about how she works it too! There is nothing wrong with being comfortable sexually and hopefully any man that chooses to marry a woman loves the way his woman lays it down in the bed. Use all those yoga moves on there thang and WHAT!

There are plenty of women who married up and were literally plotting on finding a successful man to help them move up in life but I honestly feel that Mehgan does not fit that mold. When Wendy belittles her success and suggests that she’s somehow less than because of where she came from is a testament of how Wendy thinks about women and more importantly “black women” which is sad. Besides isn’t Wendy currently employing her own husband who “allegedly” has a mistress who lives blocks away from her home in a house she basically brought?!

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MET GALA SLAYS

The fashion from the Met Gala has been reviewed multiple times but I wanted to add to the review of Wendy’s fashion squad because they were right on point with their reviews but missed one in particular and that was Zendaya.  Zendaya SLAYED her Joan of Arc look!!!! She was the nights winner in regards to keeping with the theme because it was definitely original and outside of the box in regards to Catholicism. You’re clearly able to see the costume being presented with the armor while remaining sexy. The layering and styling which included the hair and color were all perfectly executed and that is why this entire look was an all out 100 in my book.

We’ve all seen Rihanna’s look but she was definitely my 2nd favorite for originality but Rih is always the Met Gala fashion winner every year in my opinion so to see Zendaya come stomp the yard… Flawless execution. So much so that I searched to find who her stylist Law Roach also styled for the evening and it was Ariana Grande who’s look I didn’t like so much but it was custom Vera Wang which featured pictures from Sistine Chapel.

Although Wendy and her team mentioned Kim’s gold dress and said that it used as a marketing tool to mimic her recently released perfume I still was not impressed because it lacked originality. Outside of that everything else I agreed with.

Be Urself in the Workplace

I recently read an article in Huffington Post Black Voices that could transcend across racial lines to include all cultural divides and even gender but let’s stay with the topic set by the article. I myself have felt the range of emotions in the workplace and I’ve definitely experienced some bias but something that I’ve learned along my journey is that I cannot let other peoples negativity sway my self perception. In addition someones negativity will not intervene with my professionalism in the work-place and what it all boils down to is your professionalism.

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I will share a true story that helped me ease the boundaries that I felt in the workplace once when I was going on vacation. Keep in mind for the newbies to my blog that I am an I.T. professional. I’ve been in I.T. for over 10 years and once, prior to going on a work team building trip with my colleagues I was debating on what to do with my hair since I’m natural (with a relaxer). I really was debating what to do for days and I casually mentioned it in a group setting and one of my colleagues who happen to be a Vietnamese middle aged man said “why don’t you braid it?” and I swear I was in shock. hahaha I had NEVER braided my hair at all beforehand in my I.T. job because I feared it wouldn’t be perceived as unprofessional but here I was putting boundaries on myself. Needless to say that I put box braids in my hair and went on the weekend work trip and I did receive the normal questions about how I care for the braids etc. but overall after the few questions and the regular “I love your braids” comments I was over it. It wasn’t as uncomfortable of an experience as I thought it would be. I later ventured into wig for protective styles and I could careless who knows it’s a damn wig on a Tuesday. Everyone has seen my natural bob cut and if they see a short pixie then they know it’s a wig. Still every now and then if I do wear my hair out of my traditional everyday Bob then I do get the occasional “did you cut your hair” or “I didn’t recognize you”.

Fast forward to just a few weeks ago I saw another middle aged white colleague with bright pink hair. I chalked it up to a mid life experience and in my own mind took a mental note that she too probably pondered over that decision for a while and add in the age factor and I’m sure the comments she received were through the roof but but to each his/her own. Hey… if you like it then I love it. None of your personal expressions should interfere with work performance and it all boils down to your work performance. Similarly to any social setting you’ll find those who vibe with you or not and if not then that’s okay too. One thing for certain is that you should always try to find little things that make you happy and gives others a true sense of your identity whatever that may be. You’re only doing a disservice to yourself if you try to suppress your individuality to fit in. It’s the same with school and something that I’ve told my own daughter for years… do you and if need be get comfortable being by yourself and doing things that feel good to you. No one else has to travel your journey and for the most part other people are soul searching too. It takes a lot practice to be comfortable in your own company. We all vibrate at different frequencies and finding the frequency that best fits your identity, you’ll also find your tribe. Your tribe are those who vibe at the same frequency as you. Vibrating at your optimal peak will always lead you in the right direction in life and you’ll get a sense of those people who vibrations are similar to you. Let your intuition guide you and let the naysayers watch while you shine.

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Snowed In? Netflix It Up

The weather on the east coast has been brutal as of late so what better past time is there than watching Netflix. I’ve been Netflix and chilling for a minutes now with the recent holidays and timeoff from work so when I stumbled upon a documentary named “Requiem for the American Dream” and it was truly disheartening. At the same time it was an intelligent depiction of what the American Dream and democracy has progressed into. It really does a phenomenal job of explaining the illusion of democracy and how the elite keep the masses cloaked in fear and doubt to exploit the masses for cheap labor while lining their pockets like no other time in history. It summarizes our society up perfectly and explains that working for pennies on the dollar is actually the modern day slavery and has been so for a very long time. Narrated by Noam Chomsky a political activist and historian. It’s definitely worth the time if you’re looking for something good to watch and eventhough it’s non-fiction and a bit dry, I highly recommend it.
 

New Year… New Office

We’re now 2 days into the new year and I’m officially about to head back into the office tomorrow but it’s daunting. I’ve become extremely comfortable browsing online stores for deals and staying at home with family. So much in fact that I’ve invested a few dollars in sprucing up my own home office for the new year and adding a few things that can transition from my home office to my actual office and I thought I would share.

I definitely believe in writing things down so imagine my surprise when I saw a super cute journal online for cheap. I mean I literally have “to-do list”, shopping list, personal notes and business notes on Post It’s all over my office and I needed a new cute notebook that I can carry around with me everywhere. Also my little comic desk top calendar ended so I was definitely in need of a replacement and I got both a notebook and a cute calendar from www.niftysgits.com. I mean it’s really cute stuff!!! How could I actually resist especially since I’ve been taking advantage of the all after Christmas sales? Take a look around and don’t say I’ve never done anything for you.

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NYC Louis Vuitton Exhibit Review

You can always find something to do in NYC but usually to find something free or cheap. However there are often times free jewels buried among the skyscrapers but none as distinguished as the Louis Vuitton exhibit which began at October 27 and will end January 7th. If you’re brave enough to withstand the blistering cold to wait on the line to enter the building the exhibit is well worth it.

Below are a few pictures from the exhibit as well as part of the guide talking about the train cars, crates and introduction of purses in 1920. I did know that handbags were such a recent invention. 1920 is less then 100 years ago. However purses weren’t invited by LV and neither were travel crates. It just so happen that Louis Vuitton was a wood craftsman who worked as an apprentice for many years to a Parisan box maker named Monsieur Marechal before opening his own shop and became the personal box maker and packer to Empress of France Eugenie de Montijo.

One of the rooms tour guides (Anthony) explains a bit of details about the train rides of the early 1900’s and how important trunks were to the affluent passengers who could spend many months on trains for travel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Signs of Great Leadership

It’s annual review season which is either dreadfully agonizing or exciting depending on if you’re expecting a bonus, raise or promotion. If you’re one of the lucky people who actually like their jobs and manager then you should be okay but for those who begrudgingly work for a boss they dislike then it’s a toss-up. You keep up the facade for now with a smile on your face but pay close attention to these key warning signs that enables you to decipher if your job is the place stay or if you need to update your resume.

If you’Business-Coach-21re working for a job that isn’t horrible but your manager is then this is usually a sign of the work culture. I’ve been here myself and the golden rule is to look for great leadership in a company that you respect and is respectful of you and your contributions to the company. In other words make sure you like your company’s leadership or hatch a plan to seek employment elsewhere. If not you’ll be forced one day to find other employment because the business will eventually fail.  One of the primary reasons businesses continually miss the mark with objectives whether those goals are minor or major is its lack of  investing in their leadership staff.  Seldomly do these types of companies progress long-term and that indirectly impacts your salary because if they’re not progressing then how can you? Leadership staff needs to be solid because its the foundation on which the company is built and if these individuals are incapable of adequately leading teams then they are missing a huge mark. Too often people are pushed up the ranks due to seniority instead of having to actually prove that they’re capable of leading and they ultimately lose focus or motivation. How can a company expect all of it’s leadership staff to possess outstanding inherent qualities if they’re not willing to invest in their staff? If management is lacking the fundamental leadership characteristics then the entire team will follow suite and you are on a sinking ship.

Great leaders should possess certain characteristics that have been proven to work. In turn once the quantitative goals are set, leadership sets the tone which flows down to their respective teams who in return meets expectations while crushing objectives.  If your management staff isn’t focused on driving success then the team will surely follow. Let’s delve into why these traits are great motivators on driving a successful team who are fully invested in the success of the collective objective.

inherent qualities of good leadership

They focus on “WE” and not the I. Again it’s a collective objective comprised of  multiple people and components to be successful and achieve goals. Great leaders understand the impact of all in achieving goals no matter how small the task therefore the group as a whole is held accountable. One team… one dream!

A leader accepts full responsibility for the collective and assumes full responsibility when things aren’t always going well. They reassess the situation and are able to make decisions for the team in whole on next steps to regroup and steer the team in the right direction.

They always try to do the right thing and if that includes taking heat or delivering information that may not be regarded in the best light that’s what they are willing to do to ensure that wrongs are corrected.

They are visionaries! They establish clear goals and objectives for the team and for themselves. They understand that goals drive results and establish clear working goals with timelines to push the wheel forward. This also includes ensuring the team is growing professionally and learning.

Passionate about the success of their team. When someone is passionate about what they’re doing it encourages others to buy in. Others are able to see the passion as well when working with someone who truly loves what they do all while doing so with a positive attitude which is characteristic #6.

Positive attitude are a choice. You aren’t in control of what happens to you or some situations but you are most certainly in control of how you respond. You can either choose to fuse the fire and make a hostile situation worse or you can defuse the situation and come out looking like a champ. There will able be someone trying to push your buttons but you don’t have to let them succeed. How you deal with everything and everyone in your life truly sets you apart from the masses so why not raise the bar.

Build strong relationships with everyone no matter who you encounter. Simply saying good morning with a smile or a simple hello let’s people know that you’re compassionate and have interpersonal skills. Little things make lasting impressions and are the catalyst to establishing strong relationships.

Keeping your composure during difficult times shows others that you’re able to rationally think your way through tough scenarios which typically leads to better rationalization and judgement. Instead of hastily reacting you’re able to fully assess the situation and make a decision based on all variables instead of reacting without fully thinking through all possible outcomes.

Listening before adding your input leads to a better shared experience where the other person leaves the interaction feeling appreciated which is the leading factor to leaving a lasting impression. Great listening skills is also a contributor factor to building that strong relationship. People want to feel appreciated and listening to different perspectives allows the speaker to feel like they are contributing and adding value.

Celebrate progress and milestones by acknowledging successes. Acknowledment of wins no matter how small motivates the team to keep striving to achieve more success. Great leaders push their team in a healthy celebratory way which encourages all to stay focused. .and on track.

 

Women In Tech

It’s my Birthday soon and as most I’m reflecting and looking forward to new and exciting experiences with the next year. This year my birthday brought me to Miami. A place where I haven’t been in years and one thing that I realized is that there’s a lot of money to get out here. The prices in Miami are ridiculous and there are a lot of foreigners migrating to the warmer weather and beaches that the city of Miami has to offer. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the excess of it all. Let me fill you in on my festivities.

We arrived at our first hotel and was literally there for 30 minutes and within those first 30 minutes we saw 4 roaches! Not 1… not 2 but freaking 4! They moved us to another room which was considered an upgrade and within the first 30 seconds another huge water bug. This bug was HUGE so that was it for us and that hotel. It was a beautiful hotel right on the water which wasn’t cheap at all but the rooms were small which would’ve been tolerable without the bugs. Plus I’m already paranoid staying at hotels because I have a fear of bed bugs. Really since a little girl, I’ve feared bugs and the thought of a bugs sucking blood from me while I’m at my most vulnerable is horrific to even think about. So we got a refund and headed off the strip to the 4 Seasons. After pulling up to the hotel and telling the doorman of our previous experience he took care of us and I do mean that literally. We booked a double bed room online but after discussing our recent experience he put us in a room with the doubles and a master suite. Okay so actually forget just the master suite, we actually had a full 2 bedroom suite with kitchen, dining room, washer dryer, foyer and 2.5 bathrooms! He even let my 7 year old pick from a toy chest and the best thing of all was the view! Oh and not a bug in sight which equated to birthday bliss for both me and my youngest daughter. Truly impeccable customer service and I now have a preferred hotel due to this one experience.

Enough about how great the Four Seasons treated me and my family during our stay. The main focus on my weekend was to determine what’s next for me. As I do every year I make it a time to reflect on the previous year and lay out a chart to build upon what I’ve already accomplished and at times I like to include some extra help.  On October 23rd I went to a group reading class and during the group all the participants had to pull a tarot card for a mini reading. When it was my turn I pulled the “Death” card. As discouraging as it sounds the death card doesn’t always mean something bad. The psychic said that what it meant for me was that I would be going through a transition or a change. Doesn’t death symbolically mean change anyway??? Hopefully my change isn’t going to negatively impact me but at the time nothing particular came to mind immediately in terms of change during my reading. So what I want to do is manifest the positive changes I want to see for myself and if negative changes are in the future then hopefully my positive manifestations will assist with that transition as well.

With that being said I do know that I whole-heartedly will manifest a change as it relates to what I do professionally. I want to help women discover new possibilities within the I.T. world.  In particular women of color! More women and especially women of color are needed in the I.T. world and juggling the high demands of I.T. and family. The world is changing and technology is playing a huge role in restructuring the world as we know it. The industry in itself is so vast and constantly evolving but one thing is certain, it’s not a dying industry and women need to take action within it. I want to step into the arena to help guide women to understand how they can make an impact. How I will do this exactly will develop but it’s where I see myself heading. It’s the legacy that I want to leave and I want to make sure that I’m able to assist even if it’s just bridging others together with information and resources that will help women change their financial futures and impact the industry.

There is money to be me made in this industry and women are taking larger roles in leading the household therefore their finances should also make strides to match the head of house-hold role. In addition to making more money the industry in itself can be very rewarding knowing that you’re impacting the world in some form and there is no debate that technology is reshaping the world. Even during my travels I see a lot of people who change locations for work and many of them are foreigners. In Miami alone it’s been reported for years that the amount of European expats who are migrating to Florida is on the rise and it’s driving real estate prices up. I don’t believe this will be a trend that will end soon. With technology playing a larger role in everyday life, people from all across the globe are discovering new possibilities in foreign lands and they’re migrating. The world is shrinking in terms possibilities therefore when we think of the future we should all think globally and that in part is largely due to advances in technology. I want to help women understand the potential and help them focus on where they see themselves within it.
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Perfect your Passion

Although we’re busy in this world ensuring that we maintain the basics it’s imperative that we remember to nurture our passions whatever those happen to be. Your passion may be singular or they may be many. Still the more you invest in yourself and do the things you truly enjoy, the more you will improve your well being. It’s nurturing to the soul and therapeutic when you’re preoccupied with task that make you happy. You in turn improve your concentration and it helps alleviate stress from other things in life that may be overwhelming.

In addition if ever you wanted to venture into a new career or have a side hustle you can transition you passion into additional income which can lead to a career overhaul.  If you’re able to transition your passion into a profitable business it will take much more than just the love of your craft so be mindful of all the additional responsibilities that would be associated with trying to turn a profit. In doing so it may take the fun and satisfaction out of it. However for most it’s a really rewarding way to earn an income and when there is love invested into in action the universe inadvertently rewards that effort with success but it will all take time. But whose actually tracking time when you’re doing things you truly enjoy?

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If  you’re interested in potentially building an income from your passion there are a few things that you must keep in mind.

  1. Build your network. Some people are very reserved when showcasing their most intimate goals and self expression but if you’re contemplating earning a profit out of your passion be sure that you’re setting the ground work in advance. One great way to get people talking about your skills and garner brand loyalty is to develop a social network page primarily for your craft and post frequently. You’ll build your network and your also build a consumer awareness surrounding your brand.
  2. You’ll need help. You wont possibly be able to know it all and do everything so it’s imperative that you’re able to acknowledge when it’s time to outsource and delegate certain task and responsibilities to others. There are tons of resources out there for niche employees who can do your mundane task for relatively little cost. Part of the battle is recognizing when you need to outsource. It may be that you have little interest in the brunt work or that you want to optimize your time. The little task do add up and hiring someone else to delegate those task to can often make or break your motivation to continue.
  3. Practice makes perfect! Study your craft and truly invest the time to fine tune your skill set. The more you’re familiar with the nuances and small details the better equipped you’ll be at setting yourself apart from the competition.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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